After a year of analytical papers, filling out applications, and writing incident reports, my fingers have grown rusty and I'm not sure I remember how to (eloquently) write anything that doesn't start with "When the author says.." or "I am an excellent candidate for your program because…" or "Resident Mentor Haley heard the raucous call of hedonism from room 322 and dispatched police…". Okay, so I haven't been totally useless, and my year hasn't been totally devoid of excitement, but this blog is like, personal and involves things like feelings and introspection so I feel like I have to change gears a bit before I'm ready to take on My Year As A Teacher In South Korea. And yes, that title does deserve all capitals. And yes, I, as someone who has just earned a Bachelor of Arts in English, have just started two sentences in a row with a conjunction. I will write about how My Year As A Teacher In South Korea came about later, but that will probably end up being its own post because applying for and being accepted as a Fulbright Scholar is a long, detailed process and I need to build myself up to writing that one. (Read as: I'm not ready to relive that anxiety yet).
Anyways, the past week and a half or so has been dedicated to fanfare surrounding my graduation from the University of South Carolina and then me moving out of my dorm/job that I've lived in/with for the past few years. It's been a weird wishy-washy time of alternating joy and a deep feeling of loss. I'm absolutely thrilled for the adventures and accomplishments that await me (and now I sound like a greeting card) but I can't quite be ecstatic about being done with undergrad. I feel a deep sense of belonging with my staff, my dance team, and with my friends that I have never felt at any other point in my life. College was my first real taste of independence and because of it, I've grown a lot in terms of becoming a fully functional, well-rounded, contributing member of society. I'm not the same person as I was when my parents left me standing in front of South Tower in August of 2010, and that's a wonderful thing. I've been challenged immensely academically and in terms of what I value and how I think about the world. I've experienced both the highest and more pure joys of success and self-affirmation and the most isolating and self-deprecating senses of failure and loneliness. I'm more at peace with myself and I have a better picture of the person I want to become. Just to clarify though, "better" doesn't necessarily mean "full". I'm still not sure where I'll end up this time next year, but I figure a Fulbright award isn't a bad way to start off. And on that note, I think it's time to wrap things up. I'm going to try to post two or three times a week until it's time for me to leave so I can flex my writing muscles before I fly off to South Korea.
Optimistic about my blog-keeping abilities,
Haley
Optimistic about my blog-keeping abilities,
Haley